Nothing But The Truth

"If you always tell the truth, you'll never have to remember anything."
-Mark Twain

Well this weekend passed with out much whoopdeedoo. Monday was nice. I have to give an impromptu speech. He gave us each 2 random words, 1 of which we had to pick and give a speech about. I ended up with nature and divorce. I could of easily gone with my parents divorce, but I wanted to use nature as a spring board to something else on my mind. Here's a sample of my speech which went something like this:

It is human nature to be afraid of the unknown, but what isn't natural are those who use this fear to control people. People like this current administration, people like Dick Cheney, George W Bush, Donald Rumsfeld and many more. People who are supposed to be leaders of the freeworld, who have instead used terror to strip us of our freedoms and silence our voices...

Yea, it was really politically charged and at the end I got a standing ovation from the class and a couple people got really emotional. I really didn't think my speech was that great but considering I had 3 mins to prepare a heavy heavy speech like that I think I did alright. My teacher after class pulled me aside and asked me to join the debate team. I'm going to stop by on wedsnday and check it out. If I like it, I might join.

Today was fun. In sex we talked about erections and ejaculations. Several women were amazed by the fact that a guy produces 200-500 million sperm each time he cums. I guess when you're only making 1 egg a month 200 million seems like a lot. It reminded me on my psych class where our teacher pointed out that this difference creates a difference in how men and women view children. Men are usually not as close to children because a guy can potentially have 1000's of children if he went out a fucked every women he met, but a woman could have 30-40 kids Max if she pumped them out nonstop. Women have less opportunities to have children and thus each child means more to them. Also some women didn't understand that there is more to cum than just sperm. It's made up of 3 liquids actually, but the sperm is the most important. We also talked about being able to change the taste of cum. One of the liquids that's mixed with the sperm is affected by your diet and thus reflects what you eat. Pineapple is allegedly the best at improving taste but fruits in general help which made me wonder, I drink a ton of apple juice, about a full bottle a day, does it make my cum taste like apples???? I'll need to study this and thus if you are a hot and willing female and are interested in furthering mankind, tell me. IT'S FOR SCIENCE!

In Psychology tonight we talked about senses, specifically sight and how our brain interprets what we see. Sensory vs Perception. Some people say they are the same thing, I think they are 2 different things, but it's debatable. Here are some slides from the lecture with some ways to mess with your eyes.


Good luck with that one.


This reminded me of Escher.
Can you see the picture?

Good way to test if you're color blind.


Did you see 3 groups of shapes connected by lines or a row of squares, a row of circles and then a row of squares and a final row of circles? Interesting how we automatically group things.
Did you see a circle, a triangle and a triangle, or 3 lines, 3 angles and 3 pac mans? Our minds desire to complete the picture.

Sharks won tonight against Vancouver, 2-0. Sharks are now 4-1 w00t.

Speaking of winning. Kali won the Nothing But the Truth Contest which we both entered. She got a 5,000$ scholarship, congrats to her. I was a runner up and got a hand written note from the author of the book who sponsored the contest. Here's an excerpt: "You need to write more. Honestly, you have a great way with setting, dialogue and interior monologue - all elements of great writing. You need to get published." While it felt great to have a published writer say that of my work, I really dunno if I could actually get something published. Maybe if I keep submitting work to contests and such I'll get published eventually right? Congratulations to Kali. Btw, you can read my submission which I posted a month ago right here in my blog. It's the story titled Bitter Words.

One last note: the word "blog" isn't in the blog spell check.

Restless Nights

"No woman is worth the loss of a night's sleep."

- Thomas Beecham

Been having a lot of intense dreams lately which have kept me from going to sleep till dawns first light. I need some sleeping pills.

Thursday was nice, shot some pool with Collin and Duncan. I won 4/5 games. Everytime we've gone to play pool I've won the majority of games. I'm not sure if it's a sign that my game has improved or that the crappy tables and pool sticks favor me. Really, the equipment sucks, I miss the tables in China =(

Friday was relaxing, I went to Ruby's for lunch with Amanda and then went to UCI and hung out there for a bit. Dance class was fun, there's this one girl there who is ~20ish who's pretty cute, any ways I danced with her a bit last week and danced with her more this week. I also really focused on keeping my eyes locked with her eyes and not on her boobs. I'm glad none of the girls have said anything but I noticed that my eyes just automatically drop. So bad, so so bad. But I think I did a really good job last time, I only looked once... ok twice >_<. But once I started looking into her eyes I realized she has theses deep hazzel eyes. Plus it helped that she didn't feel weirded out by me look into her eyes, I know alot of people are uncomfortable looking into each others eyes. Any ways, I had a great time dancing with her =D

Today I did nothing but go to the gym, watch some college football ( I couldn't help it, it was UCLA. Fucking UCLA was leading almost the entire game and fucked it all up. Should of won it, really should of won it), listened to the Sharks game (they beat Anahiem 4-3 *side note* Anahiem is no longer called the Mighty Ducks because Disney stopped sponosoring them, so now they are just the Ducks, laugh*). I also watched a bunch of YouTube which is more entertaining than regular TV.

All in all I'd say I've had a pretty good past couple of days. I'm also getting the whole standing on my head thing down, but the top of my head is still soft so I still have to use a beany and hat to help cusion. Hopefully soon I'll be able to start puting some dance moves together to make some sorte of routine or something.

OMGWTFn00b HAXXXXXXXXXXX, I'm done

"One isn't born one's self. One is born with a mass of expectations, a mass of other people's ideas, and you have to work through it all."

- V.S. Naipaul

Today I had to give my external self collage presentation. It's a collage of people and groups who I associate my self with and who have influenced my life and have ultimately played a part in making me who I am. It felt odd to think of who exactly has played a major roll in my life and has had effects on my life both good and bad. I put the collage together in about 20 mins and I left a few people who have influenced my life out because I couldn't find a good picture of them or due to space constraints. Here's what I made.



First off, people who deserve to be on this: Jon, the drumline, Mr. Dawson and Mr. Kessler, Andrea, my sister Elizabeth and my cousins.

If I you think you've had a big impact on my life and aren't on this list I apologize for forgetting you.

For the most part, this collage is pretty self explanatory. Sport teams I'm a fan of, UCLA pride, friends, family, ethnicity, video game clans. That's pretty much it.


I've been getting really tired of playing video games lately, just kinda realizing how big of sink hole of time it is. Been spending more time on my writing. If I actually finish one of the many stories I'm working on, I'll post it here for your enjoyment.

YAR!! IT BE TALK LIKE A PRIATE DAY

"You lily-livered, barnacle-bottomed, chum-swillin', kelp festooned, rusty hooked, fish-sniffing, weevil-eatin', figurehead-fondlin', hornswogglin', albatross-hugin', bigle-belchin', poop-swabbin', seaweed-smoking, porthole-pluggin' son of a sea cow!"
-Me (I pretty much had to use my entire pirate cursing vocab to make that one, although I still have a few more in the bag)

It's September 19 and that means it's talk like a pirate day!
I hope you talked like a pirate today, I didn't get very many chances to use my pirate vocabulary =(. Hopefully next year I will =D.

In psychology of sex we watched a video on sex reassignment surgery. It was painful, I never want to see that again.

In psychology I had a test today. It was pretty easy, I think. 90 questions in 45 mins.

San Jose won their preseason open 3-1. GO SHARKS!



Been having some weird dreams lately about people I haven't talked to in months or even years...

maybe I should give them a call...



In honor of talk like a pirate day, here are some pirate related pictures:



Pirate wenches, YARRR!!!!



YARRRRRR!!!!!!!!


TIS A FINE BOOTY INDEED


The good ol' Jolly Roger

A week over due

A conference held by president bush.
Reporter: "So what did Iraq have to do with 9/11?"
Bush:"Nothing, nothing"


Today was a long day. I gave my personal narrative speech. I spoke about how I got kicked out of UCI. I know I hit the class hard but I didn't prepare well enough and it wasn't as power as it should have been. Other people gave great speeches too about being pregnant in high school, getting into fights about racism, over coming fears, finding true love, etc.

My Interpersonal communications class went well although I was really tired and had a hard time staying awake. We played an interesting game that dealt with negotiations. We ended up going back on our word the first round, but so did 2 other groups and the only group that stayed honest ended up losing the most. By the end, negotiations meant nothing since no one had any trust left and our group cruised to an easy victory. It's amazing how cut throat I became in order to win but I did what had to be done to win.


The past few days have been a little odd. My mom left of St. Louis and I've been watching a lot of documentaries and discussion about politics in the US and namely 9/11. It started with me watching Keith Olbermann, a reporter on MSNBC, blast Donald Rumsfeld twice. I posted the you tube links earlier this week. After watching those I began to watch related videos about the current administration and 9/11.

I now strongly believe the Bush administration was behind the 9/11 attack and that what we believe to be what happened, ISN'T what really happened. There are dozens of great independent documentaries and articles written by various experts in fields such as architecture, planes, explosives etc and college professors refuting what happened. But the video that stood out most is this one. Watch it and think for your self, I only ask that you open your mind and look at the facts presented.

Regardless of whether you think our government was responsible for 9/11 or not, there is little doubt that this administration is the worst in the history of the United States. Why are we in Iraq? Where are the weapons of mass destruction? Where is Bin Ladin? Why is everyone so afraid to ask questions in the country with supposedly unlimited freedom? Why are we so scared?

When I think about the this administration and what it's done to this country, it deeply saddens me. We've been mislead and flat out lied too. I wish there was more I could do, but right now, I feel like passing on information will have to do.

On a lighter note, my mom's friends from China came to visit tonight and I had to entertain them. It was so so but what surprised me was that my mom had gotten one of her class mates to drive them to my house. Her name was Cherri and she's a tall, 25 year old Asian. I'd have to say she was really cute. If only I was older and taller. I over heard her on the phone saying "he's so handsome" in Chinese. I only wish I had a heads up so I could of shaved. I still think I made a good first impression.

Nostalgic Moments

"Sentimentality is the only sentiment that rubs you up the wrong way."

- W. Somerset Maguham

This past weekend nothing much happened. I shot some pool. Did some reading. Played ALOT of dota and really sat on my ass alot. Basicly, i wasted the past 3 days of my life. Ouch! I better cut back on my gaming and really focus on reaching my goals.

Dallas beat Washington 27-10. The defense played well and the offense clicked but there were still alot of mistakes. TO also broke a finger. At least we have a bye next week so hopefully he can get back to 100%.

Dallas is now 1-1.

I'm also looking for someone to help me practice my salsa, but unfortunatly there's no one around here. All the people who have offered don't live in southern cali. I guess I'll just have to continue practicing in the mirror. This class has been really great though, the moves are simple yet they look great. We're starting to getting into more complex moves now which involve crossing hands and more spins. I'm also slowly learning to lead, at first I was really really gentle but now I've become alot more bossy and I've learned to use my hands to help direct the girl and dictate what happens.

I've also almost finished posting all my pictures, I have a few albums left and like I've noted before I will put up links here for those non-facebookers.

These past few day's I've been taking walks around Irvine. I even happen to go past Rex, who lived next door to me my freshman year at UCI. We didn't say anthing but he did look at me. I wonder what he was doing on my side of Irvine. While on my walks I can't help but remember small events that happened with people there. Jon's house, Adi's house, Theresa's house, the parking spot out side my house, Heritage Park, University Park, etc etc. It's weird how its just automatic for me to remember events from years ago. I have probably one of the worst memories yet somehow I remember all these little events like they were yesterday. I can't help but smile when I think about them, yet at the same time it saddens me a bit to know that they are gone along with many of the people in them. The people aren't dead of course and some still live relatively close, but times have changed, and so have people. Change is inevitable, regardless of whether you want it to happen or now, it will. The only question is if it's for better or worse. I'd like to be positive and say for better and recent events will even say things are better, but at the same time, I feel like they aren't. The world certainly doesn't seem much better, there's still a war, there's still a horrific government in this country. Here at home, some people who I didn't expect to do certain things surprised me. I can't say I was completely surprised but it deffinatly caught me off guard. It's funny how people say they will never change and then they do, and then they insist they haven't. We've all changed. These past 2 years have been insane for me, I was humbled by UCI, had to learn to function on my own with out a special someone, became more self aware and had to slowly learn to refocus my life. I'd have to say I've changed quite a bit, but I still believe that the core me is still there and that I still have my original believes and values, it's more that my attitudes have changed.

After Elizabeth posted her Johari Window I was tempted to one for myself but I had already done one in my communications class and I had already asked people what they percieved me as. The fact is that I'm already pretty self aware of my personality and that I act really different to different people so to do a Johari Window would be maddness since everyone would have different ideas of my traits and personality. There is some over lap but alot of differences too. I've always acted differently to different people because I thought that "persona" was what would make me look cool to that person to a degree. I've been dishonest about who I am to alot of people and for that I'm sorry, it was just some mental defense system to block people out. Now that I'm aware of that I've been working to just being my self and not try to play a roll.

On a side note, I got the feeling like Elizabeth was upset with me because I had vocalized that I felt that 6 choices we're enough on her Johari Window. She hadn't really spoken to me the past few days and I assumed she was upset. Then I remembered to use Perception Checking.

1. Describe the situtation

Elizabeth hasn't spoken to me.

2. Reason why

A. She's mad
B. She's been busy
C. We've gone long periods before with out talking for no real reason

3. Examine the situation

She had to spend all of saturday with band and the football game, also she's been busy with lots of school work.

So thus I realized that I was merely jumping to conclusions. Now alot of people who read this probably think it's dumb, but really I just to conclusions ALL THE TIME. I'm a person of absolutes and if something happens my mind imediatly jumps to a reason, usually a negative one. Now I'm learning to control where my mind goes and tools like Perception Checking are really helping me out. I always want to use more "I" statements.

And finally, Training Camp for the Sharks began this weekend. The NHL season will start in 2 weeks. Here are some pictures from their pratices.


Goalie Toskala


Cheechoo, who last year won the "Rocket" Richard Trophy by scoring the most goals in the NHL.

Those blood red sweaters are so damn sexy. If you buy me one you'll be my hero for life!

A lesson is learned

"Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible."

- Evan Esar

Yesterday I had my creative writing class and I was totally blown away by it. The stories people shared were problably the best collection I had heard in that class. One girl shared a story about finding her brother dead from a heroin overdose (based on real life). Another woman shared a story about her brother's mental illness and her mothers disregard for him. One of the guys shared a story about trying to escape from an unwanted visitor, it had am amazing twist in the last paragraph. What these people were able to convey with their words in such short stories made me take a look at my work again. I still have along ways to go before I can become a proficent writer but I found their work inspirational and it made me want to work harder on my writings.

I started playing CS again, haven't lost my touch.

I've been reading alot of webcomics the past couple of weeks. Here are two pictures from one of my favorites. A lesson is learned but the damage is irreversable. Unfortunatly the writers of that comic have gone on hiatus due to work =(.





I was bored at 3am last night and started surfing you tube. I came across these video. I won't take the time to talk about these since the video are pretty self explanitory.

Bill O'Riley is a moron

Donald Rumsfeld is an idiot


"Good Night and Good Luck"
-Edward R Murrow

Biology, Neroscience, and other painful subjects

"Glamour: the indefinable something about a girl with a big bosom."

- Abe Burrows

"The major civilising force in the world is not religion, it's sex."

- Hugh Hefner

I'll post up interesting quotes before my posts from now on.

Today both my classes covered alot of biology and anatomy. My psychology class was alright since we did talk about a few interesting aspects of the human brain, but my psychology of sex was pretty painful. First we talked about female genitalia and arousal and such which was fine, but then we talked about genitalia mutilation, which was not so nice. Alot of African and Middle Eastern cultures preform such things as female circumsitions, clitoridectomy and the most painful of all, infibulation. All of which are often preformed on young girls with no local anethisas. I'm not even a woman, but I cringed when she explained these. She later told us that in a class last year, two women cried when she discussed this because they them selves had been through it. I'm not going to go into detail what those proceedures are, but are pretty damn twisted in my opinion.

But in light of the grim topic, I did learn something which I already had come to learn from experiences. 73% of women orgasim through clitoral play and one of the easiest ways to reach the Ernest Grafenberg spot is to have the woman on top facing the man squating. What is the Ernest Grafenberg spot, you may better know it as the G-Spot. It's about 4 inches in there and its placed behind the clitoral wall. The only other way to reach it is if you can curve your penis or through anal sex, because when you have anal, you can acctually touch the G spot on the other side very easily. Just make sure to use lots of lube.


As promised here is another reading someone did for my speech class. This is by George Carlin called A Place for My Stuff

Actually this is just a place for my stuff, ya know? That's all, a little place for my stuff. That's all I want, that's all you need in life, is a little place for your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody's got a little place for their stuff. This is my stuff, that's your stuff, that'll be his stuff over there.
That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That's all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time. A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you're taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody's got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff.

And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you're saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get...more stuff! Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore.

Did you ever notice when you go to somebody else's house, you never quite feel a hundred percent at home? You know why? No room for your stuff. Somebody else's stuff is all over the goddamn place! And if you stay overnight, unexpectedly, they give you a little bedroom to sleep in. Bedroom they haven't used in about eleven years. Someone died in it, eleven years ago. And they haven't moved any of his stuff! Right next to the bed there's usually a dresser or a bureau of some kind, and there's NO ROOM for your stuff on it. Somebody else's s--- is on the dresser. Have you noticed that their stuff is s--- and your s--- is stuff? God! And you say, "Get that s--- offa there and let me put my stuff down!"

Sometimes you leave your house to go on vacation. And you gotta take some of your stuff with you. Gotta take about two big suitcases full of stuff, when you go on vacation. You gotta take a smaller version of your house. It's the second version of your stuff. And you're gonna fly all the way to Honolulu. Gonna go across the continent, across half an ocean to Honolulu. You get down to the hotel room in Honolulu and you open up your suitcase and you put away all your stuff. "Here's a place here, put a little bit of stuff there, put some stuff here, put some stuff--you put your stuff there, I'll put some stuff--here's another place for stuff, look at this, I'll put some stuff here..." And even though you're far away from home, you start to get used to it, you start to feel okay, because after all, you do have some of your stuff with you.

That's when your friend calls up from Maui, and says, "Hey, why don'tchya come over to Maui for the weekend and spend a couple of nights over here." Oh, no! Now what do I pack? Right, you've gotta pack an even SMALLER version of your stuff. The third version of your house. Just enough stuff to take to Maui for a coupla days. You get over to Maui--I mean you're really getting extended now, when you think about it. You got stuff ALL the way back on the mainland, you got stuff on another island, you got stuff on this island. I mean, supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.

You get over to your friend's house on Maui and he gives you a little place to sleep, a little bed right next to his windowsill or something. You put some of your stuff up there. You put your stuff up there. You got your Visine, you got your nail clippers, and you put everything up. It takes about an hour and a half, but after a while you finally feel okay, say, "All right, I got my nail clippers, I must be okay." That's when your friend says, "Aaaaay, I think tonight we'll go over the other side of the island, visit a pal of mine and maybe stay over." Aww, no. NOW what do you pack? Right--you gotta pack an even SMALLER version of your stuff. The fourth version of your house. Only the stuff you know you're gonna need. Money, keys, comb, wallet, lighter, hanky, pen, smokes, rubber and change. Well, only the stuff you HOPE you're gonna need.

I love George Carlin. Here's a poem some one else read called "It Couldn't Be Done" by Edgar Guest:

Somebody said that it couldn't be done
But he with a chuckle replied
That "maybe it couldn't," but he would be one
Who wouldn't say so till he tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it!

Somebody scoffed: "Oh, you'll never do that;
At least no one ever has done it;"
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat
And the first thing we knew he'd begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
There are thousands to prophesy failure,
There are thousands to point out to you one by one,
The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing
That "cannot be done," and you'll do it.

I'll post the final readings tomorrow.

from BBQ to 9-11

"Mission Accomplished" - George W Bush

On saturday we had a bbq at Peng's house. We cooked sasuage and made hamburgers, jon added a ton of seasoning turning regular cheeseburgers into salt burgers, I didn't have one. We also tried grilling bacon which subsiquently caught on fire, GG Andy for that brilliant idea. I bought a 6 pack of IBC cream soda, love that stuff. The guys lit it up, me and collin declined. It's interesting how I've been around drugs so many times in my life, yet have NEVER felt the urge to try it, not even once. I think its due to my father, he raised me well in that respect. We rented two movies, Puddle Chaiser and Idle Hands. Puddle Chaiser was so so. Idle Hands was a complete waste of time, the only redeeming element was the part where some chick took off her top. She had nice breasts, really a waste that she died.

This always bugged me about horror films. They always have some hot chicks having sex with some dumb ass dude in a secluded location so the killer can easily kill them. I always shake my head thinking, damn she was so fine, what a complete waste. If anything, they should let the hot chicks live so we can see more boobs. That would make a much better movie. Any ways the lesson of Idle Hands was don't be a lazy ass and smoke pot all day. No wait, acctually it WAS be a lazy ass and smoke pot all day so then the devil can take over ur hand, then chop it off, then destroy it to hook up with Jessica Alba. Btw, She gets one of my covetted HOTs.

Today was the 5 year aniversary of 9-11. We disgused it in Speech. I'm not really in the mood to talk about a heavy subject such as 9-11, but it's interesting how after all this time, it still feels like America is getting fooled by this monkey in office. IVC had a service, I didn't attend.

We had to give our speeches today. I presented Sonnet 55 by William Shakespear. I got 18/20. I went a little too fast, but overall it was a strong performance.

Here is a copy of Sonnet 55:

Not marble, nor the gilded monuments

Of princes, shall outlive this powerful rhyme;

But you shall shine more bright in these contents

Than unswept stone besmear'd with sluttish time.

When wasteful war shall statues overturn,

And broils root out the work of masonry,

Nor Mars his sword nor war's quick fire shall burn

The living record of your memory.

'Gainst death and all-oblivious enmity

Shall you pace forth; your praise shall still find room

Even in the eyes of all posterity

That wear this world out to the ending doom.

So, till the judgment that yourself arise,

You live in this, and dwell in lover's eyes.

Some people also read other interesting poems and articles. One guy, named Mike, read a cowboys fan letter from ESPN to Bill Parcells. Turns out hes a Cowboys fan too, w00t. Another guy read a poem that I really liked called "If":

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

There were several other good poems which I may post later. In my interpersonal communication class I had to take a test today, it was pretty easy so I think I didn't pretty well. We also talked about listening and effective ways to improve our listening skills. Then we also talked about negative asspects of communication including words that maybe hurtful to others. At the end of class we watched this video. It's a hilarious seminar on the word "nigger", it's a bit out dated since it was a 1998 speech, but it's still good.

Proactive

A quick recap of the past couple days.

On tuesday night I fell victim to food poisoning from under cooked korean bbq made by my mom. I ended up going to the ER that night and getting an IV with some pain killers. I spent 5 hours there but it was totally worth it. They sent me home with some meds and after a few days i felt fine. I missed a few of my classes and will have to work to make up the lost work.

The NFL kicked off on Thursday and today Dallas played against Jacksonville. Dallas lost 17-24. I'm not worried. I think we can still take it all.

What's really been on my mind have been these rants I've been having. Mostly me complaining about this or that. Nothing significant. I ended up coming to the conclusion that I really need to just stop complaining about things and that I need to take matters into my own hands. I have so many goals and dreams yet I seem to just sit on my ass and never do much to reach these.

To be honest, my number one goal is to be a great husband/father. But I realize, that in order to do that, I must first become attractive to women. And by attractive I don't just mean good looking. I mean I have to appeal to women both physically and mentally. And by mentally i mean finanically secure, mentally secure(my own mental health), and be able to show my true personallity to women.

So in my realization to do these things I realized that:
A. I need to do it, it's not just magically going to happen
B. I also need help

So I went ahead and bought a book from a guy, who I already had subscribed to his weekly email. His advise had always been great and I had read a few samples from the book. After reading the book I've learned lots about my self and my mental process and how I need to change the way I look/think about things.

While looking at my mental state I've also started going to the gym again, started my famous "sit-up wall", and have really started focusing on my school work.

I know it's going to be a long slow process to get to where I am going, but I am now confidant in my ability to do it. I've always been about instant gratification, but now I realize, good things come in time. And while I may still be single, slightly out of shape, and at IVC, i realize that this is just the beginning. If i strive to constantly improve and continue to be proactive in my own life, I will reach my ultimate goal.

And with that, I will leave you with some lyrics from Fort Minor - Remember the Name

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

Mike! - He doesn't need his name up in lights
He just wants to be heard whether it's the beat or the mic
He feels so unlike everybody else, alone
In spite of the fact that some people still think that they know him
But fuck em, he knows the code
It's not about the salary
It's all about reality and making some noise
Makin the story - makin sure his clique stays up
That means when he puts it down Tak's pickin it up!

Forget Mike - Nobody really knows how or why he works so hard
It seems like he's never got time
Because he writes every note and he writes every line
And I've seen him at work when that light goes on in his mind
It's like a design is written in his head every time
Before he even touches a key or speaks in a rhyme
And those motherfuckers he runs with, those kids that he signed?
Ridiculous, without even trying, how do they do it?!

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain
And a hundred percent reason to remember the name!

Marilyn Monroe

"Kissing Marylin Monroe is like kissing Hitler" -Tony Curtis

I watched a special on people who had taken pictures of Marilyn Monroe. It was interesting to see how people reacted to different pictures and how she reacted to different pictures taken of her. I always thought she was cute but never understood what made her special. Yea, she was the sex symbol of the 50's but why. After looking at all the pictures and hearing interviews with people who had been with her I can understand that she was more than just some dumb blond. I guess the best way I could describe it was that she had an aura about her. Not just a sexual aura but something intangible. This essence can only be touched upon by still photos, the movies never seemed to do her justice. She just had this look. And even though she was famous and lived a glamorus life style, she was very troubled. She had a rough childhood and men never truly respected her. This sadness was sometimes captured on photo and she her self remarked that all the fame and wealth didn't matter since it didn't truly make her happy.

It's interesting that my creative writing teacher was friends with Marilyn's personal doctor. She had known the guy for over 30 years and yet never once did he mention that he was her doctor. I guess her death must have weighed heavily on him. She had died from an over dose of pills perscribed by him. Whether it was suicide or murder, is still a controversy. None the less, the idea that such a person of her magnitude died from something he had given must of been very hard for him to deal with.

Here are a few pics of her:


I can't help but wonder if Tony Curtis was right when he said "Kissing Marylin Monroe is like kissing Hitler"

Beauty is wasted when the core of the person is incomplete or damaged.


In other news I saw my sister today. Her hair has grown back from the chemo and it's now super curly, like insanely curly. Very similar to another Elizabeth I know. She's 4 months pregnant and I gave her some baby gifts from China. We went to lunch at Wing's and then went to see Pirates, I was the only one who had seen it, after which we went to Miguel's mexican grill for dinner. It was nice to spend some time with her.

I really have an itch to play pool or poker. I also want to bet. Let's play =D

Had a weird dream last night that Lori needed my help. Maybe I should give her a call. Maybe not...

It's Opening Day, in college football.

So UCLA beat Utah 31-10, w00t.
USC beat Arkansas 50-14, meh.
Cal got crushed by Tenessee 18-35
North Western beat Miami of Ohio 21-3, but it's Miami of Ohio so this really shouldn't count.
and Purdue beat IU 60-35, but no one cares =P

My bet with Elizabeth has got me a bit worried since I learned UCLA's star running back graduated and is now in Jacksonville =(. The game is Dec 2nd. Hopefully justice will prevail and UCLA will crush USC.

Went to the San Deigo Wild Life Park today with my dad and grandparents. I translated for them and we had a plesent time. We didn't get to see the cheetahs though due to construction. They are putting in a new rail system which will be done in a year or two. It was pretty hot today, it reached a 100 but the park had mist areas to help cool down. Something we could of used in China.

I'll post pictures of the zoo as soon as I get a new upload cable for my camera, I lost mine so half of my China pictures are still stuck on my camera =(

After the zoo, my dad and I were on our way to his house when he decided to stop at Tower Record. He wanted to look at a few cds and then I asked him how much porn DVDs were. He asked why I asked and I pointed out that they sell them there. He didn't believe me so I took him to the back to show him. He was amazed that in the 4 years we shopped there, he never noticed the porn section. We rummaged through the stacks of DVDs with great titles like, Fuck My White Tight Ass Volume 25 and Latin Lesbians 22, etc. Unfortuantly we were to busy laughing at the titles to acctually check the prices. I think next time I go back I might pick up one, my dad even offered to buy it =).